I like to get things done. Sometimes this is very difficult. Not only do I have a mom brain, I am not in my 20’s anymore. Combine these two factors with a short nights sleep, and children that need something approximately every 2.4 to 9.7 minutes, and I have a full-on case of ADHD. (and please don’t add PMS to that mix. We won’t talk about what that’s like).
I’m not being dramatic. Yesterday, I had two things that HAD to be done. I had to put a roast I bought a few days ago in my slow cooker, and scoop out the cat litter box (in desperate need). At approximately 3:30 pm, I finally got the roast ready to cook with the requisite accompaniment of carrots, onions and potatoes. I figured if I put the crockpot on high and gave Ellianna a snack, dinner at 7:30p wouldn’t be the end of the world.
As time went on, I passed the slow cooker a few times in the kitchen, and noticed it didn’t seem to be heating up. Half an hour later, I realized the crockpot was not plugged in!. Ok, we are not eating dinner at 9 or 10 tonight. I think we found some hotdogs or scrambled eggs for survival. Later, I finally dropped into bed at midnight after a bottle-washing marathon and realized I had yet again forgotten to do cat litter. Determined, I finally did cat litter at about one in the morning, and dropped peacefully into bed, knowing my cats were would have a better day tomorrow.
I’m not this scatterbrained and distracted every day, but this is how my days can go at times.
I love my babies. I love being able to spend time with them – giving hugs to Ellianna, looking at her wonderfully creative drawings, watching an episode of PBS’s Tumble Leaf together (at her insistent request), listening to her bright, chatty and hilarious monologues about something she is thinking about. Then there is Weston. He will either give you 1. A smile; 2. A chuckle; 3. A belly laugh if you simply give him a smiley hello. Who doesn’t want to do that at least 50 times a day? These kids seriously infuse my day with sunshine (and yes, some rain at times ;).
But…. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, organizing, dinner….! . As much as I want to see that episode with Ellianna again or stop for a tickle session with Weston, the dark realities of not finding time for chores are lurking upstairs in the bedrooms. Empty drawers are starkly unoccupied by even one pair of clean underwear. I am running out of shorts that don’t have spit-up on them. Weston has no clean bibs. Mammoth piles of laundry threaten to engulf me in overwhelm that send me back downstairs (Tumble Leaf, anyone??) .
And if I’m not engaging with my children, I want to be writing, thinking, planning or catching up on Facebook, rather than cleaning, doing laundry or dishes.
Remember Maslow’s hierarchy? I want to climb right on past the physiological level (which I’m sure involves cooking and having clean underwear) and get on to the love /belonging, esteem and self-actualization levels (can I just camp there up at the top?). Every day. I think I could generously spare an hour to domestic duties, but the rest could it pretty please be my time and time for my kids?
I have hope though. My nightstand has piles of books that I think will help me find my stride and get the routine things done, along with the more cerebral, relational, and spiritual activities. Charles Duhigg’s “Power of Habit” and Gretchen Rubin’s “Happier at Home” stare at me from my nightstand, whispering promises and hope of change. Oh yes, and perhaps most importantly, a prayer journal too.
As I turn in to go to sleep, I have resolve. Tomorrow is another day; I will get some laundry done. And some dishes too.